If You're Looking for Help Online With Your Anger, You're Not Alone

Perhaps you've promised yourself countless times that it won't happen again. Then something happens. You feel provoked, criticised, ignored, rejected or treated unfairly and, before you've had time to think, you're angry again. You may shout, argue, become defensive or aggressive, or say things you deeply regret afterwards. Perhaps your anger is damaging a relationship with someone you love. Or maybe most of the anger stays inside, becoming passive-aggressive, resentment, irritation and a constant feeling that something isn't right. Afterwards can come remorse, shame and another promise that next time will be different. I don't think that makes you an angry person. I see you as someone who has become conditioned into an angry response, and that distinction matters because conditioned responses can be understood and changed. I've worked with thousands of people, from all walks of life, of all ages, from 18 to 80, from all around the globe. You are certainly not alone.

Anger Is Usually Not the Real Problem

One of the most important things I've learned from more than twenty-five years of working with anger is that anger seldom tells us the whole story. Underneath it I often find hurt, rejection, betrayal, abandonment, fear, injustice or a terrible feeling of powerlessness. Sometimes I find love and loyalty too. We can become angry because somebody we care about has been hurt, has died, because something precious to us feels threatened, or because we desperately want another person to understand something that matters deeply to us. The reasons behind anger can be very personal, nuanced and sometimes surprisingly complex. None of this excuses behaviour that hurts other people. We remain responsible for what we do. But condemning yourself for becoming angry doesn't help you understand why it keeps happening. Understanding what is happening beneath the anger gives us a much more useful place to start.

Why Do I Keep Losing My Temper?

Many of the people I've worked with understand perfectly well that their anger isn't helping them. They know they shouldn't shout, they know an argument is escalating, and they may even know that they're saying something they'll regret. Yet knowing all of that doesn't necessarily stop the reaction. That's because an angry response has become conditioned and automatic. The reaction can begin before conscious thought has had much opportunity to intervene, which is why simply trying harder not to become angry is often not enough. Our work is therefore about slowing that process down and understanding what happens between the trigger and the angry response. When you begin to recognise that process, the pattern, as it is happening, you begin to recover something anger has been taking away from you: the ability, the power to choose how you respond.

How STOP RIPPing Works

My work is based on the RIPP Method — Resistance, Injustice, Powerlessness and Pain. RIPP describes an emotional process I began recognising repeatedly during many years of working with clients. Something happens that we strongly resist. We experience what is happening as wrong, unfair, an injustice. At the same time, we feel powerless to change it, and beneath that struggle is emotional pain. For some people, that process moves outward and becomes anger. It can happen extraordinarily quickly, particularly when something in the present connects with experiences and emotional associations that have developed over many years. The person may experience only the anger without being consciously aware of everything happening underneath it. STOP RIPPing® helps you learn to recognise your own version of that process. Rather than simply asking, “How do I control my anger?” we begin asking, “What is happening inside me that keeps producing this angry response?” That gives us a very different place from which to work.

What We'll Work On Together

Every person's anger is different, so our sessions don't follow a rigid one-size-fits-all curriculum. We'll look at your circumstances, your relationships and the situations that trigger your anger. We'll explore what happens emotionally and physically as the response begins, why particular situations have so much power and how your own patterns may have become conditioned over time. Most importantly, you'll learn to recognise the point at which the RIPP process begins to take over. The aim isn't to suppress legitimate feelings, make you passive or take away your confidence and assertiveness. You can disagree with someone, say no, stand up for yourself and challenge something you genuinely believe is wrong without being controlled by anger. The goal is not to take away your strength. It is to give you greater freedom over how you use it.

Private, One-to-One Work With Me

Every STOP RIPPing session is private, confidential and one-to-one with me personally. You won't be passed to another practitioner and you won't be expected to discuss deeply personal experiences in front of a group. When we meet, I'm not interested in judging you for things you may already deeply regret. I want to understand you and what is happening underneath the anger. Some people who come to me have reached a point where they feel everyone sees only their anger. Partners may be exhausted and desperate, families may have withdrawn, friendships may have suffered, and jobs may be threatened. Eventually the person themselves can begin to believe that anger is simply who they are. I don't start from that position. Behind the anger I very often meet someone who doesn't want to keep hurting the people they love, doesn't want to keep losing control and doesn't want to spend the rest of their life regretting what happened during moments of anger. That's the person I'm interested in working with.

A Brief and Focused Approach

I don't believe meaningful change necessarily requires years of counselling. My approach is practical and focused, and we begin working from the first session. Rather than spending several sessions preparing to begin, we'll start looking for the pattern behind what has been happening straight away. There's no correct number of sessions because every person, their history and circumstances are different. You, therefore, don't have to commit yourself to a predetermined number of sessions. Sessions are £150 for a full hour, and you simply pay as you go. After each session, you decide whether another would be useful. My aim isn't to keep you attending for any longer than you need. In fact, my aim is to make myself redundant. I want you to understand your own pattern so well that, if and when, you can recognise what is happening and interrupt it without my help.

More Than Managing Anger

I don't want you to spend the rest of your life constantly trying to control something inside you. The purpose of STOP RIPPing is to help you understand and interrupt the process that keeps producing the angry response. Anger rarely gives us what we are trying to achieve with it. Over time, it can destroy trust, erode love, damage or destroy relationships and leave us increasingly isolated from the very people who matter most. An automatic response, however, does not have to remain automatic forever. When you can recognise the pattern operating outside your awareness, you have the opportunity to respond differently. That is the difference between simply managing anger and becoming free of it. 'Managing' anger suggests there is a battle that you're fighting, anger vs you, you don't want to be in a lifelong battle. In time, you won't need to 'control' your anger because it will no longer have power over you; you'll have freedom!

Book Your Initial Session

You don't need a preliminary consultation or a lengthy conversation about whether you should begin.
Your initial session is a full one-hour working session at £150.
We'll begin with what's happening in your life, what you would like to change and what appears to be driving the pattern. We won't spend the hour discussing what we might do at some point in the future.
We'll get down to work from the beginning.
After that session, you decide whether you would like another one. There is no obligation to continue and no predetermined number of sessions you have to complete.
I look forward to meeting you.

© 2026 Gary Redmond